October is National Sexuality Education and Family Communication Month!

Talk about it.

Parents want their teens to make responsible choices about sex, and to develop good relationships. However, teens are getting sexual messages from many unreliable sources. By the time they reach adolescence, young people have watched thousands of hours of television, and dozens of movies. They have listened to hundreds of song lyrics, and seen countless ads in magazines, newspapers, and on the Internet. The content of many of these media messages is sexual -- and a lot of it is unrealistic or unhealthy. With so many messages about sexuality bombarding young people, parents want to be sure teenagers can sort out the facts from the fantasy. A good way to do this is to have an ongoing conversation about their lives, their opinions, and their relationships. Whether or not you're thinking or talking about it, parents are the primary source for their children's information about sexuality. That's why it's important to be clear about what you want to teach your children.

Sharing your values about sexuality can help your child feel connected to you, to your family, and your community. Studies show that family connectedness plays a prominent role in preventing too-early pregnancy. Young people who feel close to their families are more likely to postpone intercourse, and when they finally have sex, they have fewer sexual partners, and use contraception more effectively. In fact, a recent poll found that 67 percent of teens who had talked openly with a parent about sex would speak to a parent first if they were considering beginning a sexual relationship. It may be hard to talk about values without having your teen "tune out," so avoid making the conversation a lecture – communication should go both ways. Remember that it is important to communicate your expectations to your kids. Share your values, and let your teens know why you have them, and give them the accurate information they need to stay healthy. Be the source of accurate information and reliable support for your teens, and keep an open ear when they need it.

Make the subject as normal as oral hygiene. You're not embarrassed to tell your kids to brush their teeth. Tell them about their reproductive health in the same way. It may be easier for you to communicate a message of health to your teen, so start with something that will ease your anxiety or discomfort, and go from there. When you talk about sexuality with your kids, and they share their views with you, really listen to them. If they feel valued by you, they will learn to value themselves. If they value themselves, they are less likely to participate in risky behavior. Instill a sense of pride in their becoming responsible young men and women. Encourage them to take pride in their growing capabilities and to take steps to protect and nurture themselves. Don't worry about being an expert.There are lots of printed materials and programs to give you information. Talk about what's important to you, including the health and well-being of your teen, and keep in mind that what you are hoping to do is build a stronger, more connected relationship with your child. For help and information, contact Planned Parenthood or go to www.ppfa.org to find a center near you.